Yesterday, the Daily Mail — hardly a reservoir of excellent reporting — ran an article warning successful married business men about the perils of evil attractive women who get jobs specifically looking for unsuspecting guys to sexually prey upon. And then, once they get the poor guy in bed despite his deep protestations, the heartless bitches have the nerve to call him the next day! And expect him to call back! The article calls such women “office piranhas.” Yeah, that sounds fair.
Or, we could — just for the sake of argument, of course — put it another way. Guy hires secretary. Guy thinks secretary is hot. Secretary flirts with guy. Guy sleeps with her, despite the fact that he has two kids and a pregnant wife. Guy feels guilty about cheating on his wife, but secretary keeps flirting so he keeps fucking her. Wife finds out, leaves him. Guy realizes that his life is now in ruins but is totally unable to accept responsibility for his actions. Guy writes to the Daily Mail to tell them about this evil, flirting banshee woman. Daily Mail says “hey, this is crap, so we obviously have to print it.” Knowing that they need to provide some sort of an excuse for the misogyny, they find an “expert” to explain the “phenomenon” of money-grubbing whores getting jobs for the sole purpose of finding married men to financially support them.
Take your pick.
Once, retail boss Colin had an enviable life. He was in line for promotion, had a beautiful North London home, two children he adored and a loving wife who was expecting their third baby.
Then he hired a 26-year-old secretary. She was to herald the unravelling of his life in the most spectacular way.
Fuelled by alcohol and intoxicated by the fact that this nubile young woman made it crystal-clear that she desired him, he found himself in bed with her after the office Christmas party. It was to leave him nursing the biggest hangover of his life: within six months he was homeless and estranged from his wife and children, and out of a job.
Last week, matrimonial lawyer Diane Benussi warned male bosses who unexpectedly hit it off with a female employee that they might have caught themselves an “office piranha” – a man-eating woman who preys on married, high-status men. And Ms Benussi, who has almost 30 years’ experience in the legal profession, sounded her warning after noting an increasing number of cases involving single women chasing the married fathers of their children for financial support.
Many such women, she says, join companies with a large number of male employees with the sole intention of looking for a partner. The office party then offers the ideal environment to trigger such relationships.
Ms Benussi’s warning comes too late for Colin, who was divorced by his wife Ellen, 38, nine months ago on the grounds of adultery.
Damn those women, ruining men’s lives by
eating the apple and destroying paradise flirting with them and shit!
Now, you and I might think that if a guy in a monogamous relationship has an affair with his secretary, it’s his own fault when his wife finds out and divorces him. But Colin and the Mail helpfully explain to us just why this isn’t so.
Many women will feel he got no less than he deserved for cheating on his wife, especially when she was pregnant. But he feels he became a target for seduction by a young woman whose behaviour after that initial liaison was both threatening and obsessive.
“Office piranha is the right terminology for her,” says Colin ruefully today of the young woman he blames for ruining his life. “I was reeled in hook, line and sinker by a woman who deliberately set out to find a husband.
“She knew I was married and that my wife was pregnant, but she still targeted me for herself. She seemed happy to try to seduce me and then destroy my marriage in the hope that I would marry her.
“She came on strongly, and I was incredibly flattered. But now I have lost everything I held dear, and will regret the affair for the rest of my life.”
[. . .]
Colin confesses he was flattered that such an attractive young woman had made a beeline for his table. But he says he simply put her friendliness down to a willingness to make a good impression with her boss.
He adds: “I wasn’t looking for any affair or even a ‘bit of fun’. My mind was always on my work. I held a high position in a blue chip company.
“Also, Ellen and I had been married for 13 years,” he says. “We already had two beautiful sons – Joshua, now 14, and Andrew, nine – and Ellen was expecting our third child.”
However, looking back, what is clear to Colin is that he was an easy target for any man-eating woman. “Ellen and I were going through a bad patch at the time,” he says. “She was finding our two eldest sons quite a handful, especially as she was six months pregnant.
“She’d given up her job as a high-flying marketing executive to have our children, and although I had a good job – let’s say it was a very healthy five-figure salary with perks – we had lost Ellen’s salary but still had a hefty mortgage to pay.
“I was in line for promotion and was putting in longer hours to ensure I got it. Consequently, although Ellen was a wonderful, capable mother, the atmosphere wasn’t always great at home.”
Colin further admits he wasn’t getting enough of the mainstay of any relationship (particularly, it would appear, for men); sex.
“Our sex life had taken a nose dive,” accepts Colin. “It sounds terrible, but it made the fact that Clare fancied me difficult to ignore.”
Okay, okay — now Colin may look really bad here. But first of all, she came on to him. Duh. And yeah, so his wife was pregnant and raising their two kids as a stay-at-home mom, not getting enough support from her husband and seemingly regretting giving up her high profile job for the sake of protecting his high profile job, which he began working more than ever. You may think that his wife had every reason in the world to not want to have sex, and that Colin was just being a selfish prick who was making his wife’s life miserable and then blaming the consequences on her. But that’s because you don’t know what that damn secretary did, yet:
The next morning, Clare began bombarding Colin with texts and phone calls, and over the next few weeks pursued him with a vengeance.
“The texts said things like: ‘You were good in bed’, and despite my feelings of guilt, it felt fantastic to have a woman’s attention again.
“With Ellen focused on our sons and the pregnancy, it had been a long time since I had felt appreciated as a man. So, despite the voice in my head saying I shouldn’t meet Clare again, I did.”
Having succumbed to the sexual flattery of the office piranha, Colin was foolish enough to agree to meet Clare secretly, and during the next six weeks they had a series of liaisons.
“When I tried to tell her it was over, she would beg me not to go, and cry. She threatened if I didn’t leave Ellen and marry her, she would kill herself. Once, she acted as if she were carrying out her threat, running across the road and was almost hit by a car.”
You see? The guy had sex with her, and all he wanted was to be left alone! Is it so much to ask for a man to be able to fuck his subordinate employee and then not ever have to speak to her again? She bombarded him with phone calls and text messages! She said that he was good in bed! What was he supposed to do? As I understand it, when a woman tells a man that she finds him attractive, he has no choice but to whip out his dick. It’s like a social contract. And then, when he tries to break up with her, she cries! What kind of horrible woman does that?!
Now, Colin, in all seriousness, I can only presume that your wife got the mirror in the divorce settlement, because you clearly haven’t had the opportunity to use one for the purpose of having a good, hard look at yourself. But they aren’t that expensive; even a hand-held mirror would do. I suggest that you go get one pronto. Also, though it might be painful, you might want to dig up your marriage license and wedding video. You know, the documents where you can see very plainly that you are the one who entered into the relationship, made promises regarding the relationship and apparently at some point had a conversation with your wife about how your marriage was not going to be an open one. Is “Clare’s” name on that piece of paper? Do you see her standing up there at the alter (or whatever), making a promise to Ellen that she would never, ever fuck you? I can only imagine that you don’t. And there’s a reason for that.
The plain fact is that while sexually pursuing a person in a committed relationship is a shitty thing to do, and not a particularly defensible one either, no one but you is to blame for cheating on your spouse in a consensual affair.
But, the reality is that women are always the one blamed. If a woman cheats on her partner, she’s considered the one at fault, as she should be. If a man cheats on his wife, though (because this pertains particularly to heterosexual relationships), the woman/women he cheated with is a dirty, slutty homewrecker. Women perpetuate this phenomenon as well, either so socially conditioned to see other women as their enemies or desperate receive to receive a small nugget of patriarchal approval. As it always is in our misogynist society full of sexual double-standards, women are always the ones to blame for heterosexual sex. Come on to a man, you’re a slut. Don’t refuse a man, you’re a slut, do refuse a man, you’re a prude. Get pregnant, you should have kept your legs shut. Cheated on by your parter, you should have satisfied him more/known better. Not having orgasms, you should be trying harder.
While women are held to impossibly high standards regarding what we should and should not do with our vaginas, men are seen as being utterly free of responsibility for what they do with their dicks. Unless they’re gay. Then they deserve to get AIDS and should use prayer to denounce their homosexual lifestyle. But otherwise, the poor men can’t help it. Us women, we have some sort of hypnotic power over penises, and far too often, we choose to use that power irresponsibly, to do things like ruin poor helpless Colin’s life.
Also, women don’t work to, like, make money or find personal fulfillment or anything, just to find richer men to take care of us. Clearly, the MRAs must agree, this is why we shouldn’t allow women in the workplace. You can’t seduce unsuspecting married men when you’re at home popping out baby after forced baby, cooking dinner and ironing shirts, now can you?
[thanks to Jenee for the link.]