I always used to put off reading BFP’s blog.
Not because I found it uninteresting or unimportant or low on my list of priorities. Quite the opposite, in fact — it was because I wanted to give it the time it deserved instead of making it a part of my “have to clear my blog reader” routine.
I wish that I hadn’t put it off though, because there are seven posts I have been waiting to get to and will now probably never get the chance to read.
I can’t say that I knew BFP, that I was her friend, or even had more than a few exchanges with her. I can say that several of those few exchanges were important to me. I can say that BFP’s blog made me think like no other. I learned more from it than any other. It challenged me, sometimes made me feel uncomfortable, and made me aware of my own prejudices, blind spots and shortcomings. I believe I can honestly say that without reading her, I wouldn’t be as good of a feminist, ally or person as I am (whatever, exactly, that means). I can say that she has inspired me and made me want to do better.
Now that she has left and took her words with her, my heart hurts. As to why she left . . . I honestly don’t know what to say. I just don’t. And since she seemed to not really want it discussed and asked BA not to link, it’s probably for the best. But even if it weren’t, I’m lost for words over this and the other painful things that have happened over these past couple of weeks.
I do know that I’m confused, I’m disappointed and I am sad. I will miss BFP terribly. And whether reasonable or not, whether right or entirely selfish, I hope that she comes back someday.
On a related note, Angry Black Woman has announced an Allies Carnival. I hope to be able to write something worthy of submission in the next couple of weeks, and hope that other bloggers out there will make the same effort.