Very Short Break

As I suggested I might, I’ll be taking a short break this week. Just a few days, and I’ll still be around moderating comments and such. In fact, taking time off from writing may give me a chance to finally get caught up on my blog reader and to go through the news for what is honestly the first time in a week.

It’s only partially about the whole ugly Johnny Vegas thread situation. I’m feeling much better — and I wanted to take a moment to say thank you to everyone who commented or emailed me with such kind words. It really has meant a lot and it did help me through it. You’re great people.

But the situation did come at a rather bad time, since I had a particularly stressful and somewhat emotional week as it was. This has been the worst blog attack that I’ve undergone such far, even worse than the hellish Guitar Hero experience, even if it was only because the attacks were so fucking personal and cruel. Having someone call you a horrible ugly cunt because you criticized a video game is pretty fucked up, but not nearly as bad as being told that you’re mentally unstable and a hysterical exaggerator because you dared to speak about your own sexual assault and to condemn those committed against others. I have such a thicker skin than I did before I began this wonderful blog adventure. But some things . . . some things don’t roll off your back so easily.

Anyway, I’m probably about as over it as I’m going to get for the time being. But the suggestion of a break that I floated ended up sounding like a really good idea for my mental health nonetheless. And I’d rather rest and go back to writing good posts than continue feeling drained and writing some of the half-assed shit that I have been lately.

I’ll see you very soon. Probably by Thursday or Friday. Don’t go away.

[Oh! Since upgrading to wordpress 2.5, I’ve been getting a lot of complaints about my spam filter. So I’ve turned off SpamBam and am trying out a new service called Defensio. I think that it will be a big improvement, especially since turning it off allowed me to discover that the reason my blog never received trackbacks and pingbacks, a problem that was driving me mad, was SpamBam’s fault. Fuckers. But please let me know if you continue to have problems.]

0 thoughts on “Very Short Break

  1. Wendy

    I just wanted to let you know that I recently discovered your blog, Cara…and I love that you speak out. Don’t let idiots silence you (although taking a break is good!!). There will always be people who aggressively attack when they feel threatened by someone’s truth…their goal being to silence that truth. Your voice is important to women – especially women who, like you, have survived an assault, or abuse, or a shattered view of themselves due to someone else’s treatment of them. I just wanted you to know that I am one reader who appreciates what you are doing here. Keep up the good work!

  2. Astraea

    I’m sorry I missed your post on Johnny Vegas because I wasn’t doing much blogging this weekend.

    Take care of yourself. This shit can hit hard, and you deserve a break.

  3. Cara Post author

    Hmmmm – for some reason my comment did not go through … perhaps your overactive spam filter???

    Yup. But the good news is that I was able to fish it out!!! With SpamBam, I never saw the messages that it incorrectly marked as spam. Now I get to review them before clearing them out. What’s cool about Defeniso is how it learns what it incorrectly marks and then adapts to your individual blog to do better in the future. It provides the warning that to start out with, its decision-making won’t be terrific, but everyone who I’ve seen talk about the plugin says that it starts to work great after that.

  4. Tracey

    My darling Cara,

    I regret that I let my feed-reader go for a few days, and I missed all this chaos. My comment of support should have come to you much sooner. I DID read your original post about Johnny Vegas before those vile comments started pouring in, and my exact thoughts were, “GOOD FOR HER for being the only one to acknowledge that this is rape!” Your analysis of the whole thing, as always, was spot on, and I’m sorry that ignorant reactions to the post ended up causing you personal pain.

    I hope you enjoy your break. Take all the time you need, and we’ll all be waiting here for you when you return.


  5. Katie

    I’ve only started reading your blog recently but I agree with almost everything you have to say. I frequently share items via Google Reader – more often than any of the other feminist blogs I subscribe to. Your posts are inspirational, and if you need a break in order to be able to continue that, then you should take it. I was very sorry to read about all the shit you got from people.

    re. your spam filter problem; have you tried Akismet?

  6. Cara Post author

    Katie, I did consider Askiment. But they want you to have an API Key (I don’t even understand it enough to explain what it is), which I don’t think I have. I was going to go through the trouble of getting one until I saw on the message boards that the current version of Askiment is either fucked up or just doesn’t work properly with the recent upgrades made to WordPress. So I decided to go with Defensio instead, especially since they give you an API key! If it doesn’t pan out, then hopefully Askimet will be fixed by that point and they’ll be my next stop πŸ™‚

  7. Holly

    I’m really sorry to hear that you are going through so much chaos in your life right now, but never let someone keep you from speaking out about what you believe. A short break will probably be good for you and when you come back to blogging, you’ll most likely have so much you want to blog about and you’ll get a nice warm and fuzzy feeling when returning to blogging. I know any breaks I took from blogging resulted in that, anyway.

    As for spam, I use Defensio and it is amazing, I love it. Hands down it is the best spam filter I have ever used.

  8. ouyangdan


    i leave the blogosphere for a few days and i miss a whole lot!

    i am so sorry that happened to you, but so glad to see you stomped through it.

    i know i have told you many times how much you inspired me to start writing again. i hope your break gives you the rest you need.

    you are a fantastically talented writer, and an incredibly passionate voice on issues that a lot of people, myself included, are afraid to tackle.

    thank-you for all you do, and it sure looks like for every troll you get there are about 20 people who feel that you are rocking the casbah and making a huge difference.

  9. Jennifer-Ruth

    Cara – I just wanted to let you know how much I love reading this blog (even though I am a bit of a lurker rather than I regular commenter). I caught up with what happened with the whole Johnny Vegas thing today and the personal attacks sickened me. Those men have no sympathy or empathy for women who have experienced sexual assault or rape – they can only identify with the rapist and thus try to devalue your words and silence you with personal attacks.
    I am someone who has also experienced sexual assualt and rape. In fact, it is the feminist blogosphere (and your blog in particular) that has helped me use the word rape for the first time in my life to describe what happened to me (probably like many other women). I find you an inspiration.

  10. Ken

    Cara thank you very much for your blog. I hope you enjoy break and most importantly, do what you feel is right for your wellbeing. Like many others I will also miss you.

  11. Nellie

    Sorry to be “jumping” in so late in the game. I wasn’t available myself much while all this was going on. Please know you have my support and that you don’t deserve the crap you’ve been taking from idiots who “just don’t get it”. Cara – you rock!


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