Feminists Need to Stop Being So Mean And Have Sex with This Guy

I just read this AlterNet article about a phenomenon of which most feminist are aware: the use of evolutionary psychology to excuse offensive mainstream male sexual attitudes towards women.  It’s a pretty good article, but that’s not what I want to draw your attention to.  I want to draw your attention to this comment by poor Eat Politicians, who attended women’s studies classes in college only to somehow not get his brains fucked out as a thanks for his very noble efforts.

interesting that these guyland people are the ones getting laid.

I would like to see a survey of how much sex frat boy jocks receive versus schmucks such as myself that wasted our time going to feminist philosophy classes and trying to be respectful and understanding while constantly being talk down to in class for even trying. While Quarterback Jack spent his evenings piling driving 6 chics back in his cock-cave.

Riddle me that batwomen.

Yeah feminists, he wasted his time showing you how much he respects your rights and the fact that you have feelings and desires outside of a male-centered worldview, now spread your legs, goddammit.  He’s not even asking for a cookie — all he wants is for you to get in his line of anonymous women outside of his cock-cave so that he can pile drive you.  Is that so much to ask for?  Really, I can’t even begin to imagine why you might have directed harsh words towards this clearly enlightened and upstanding fellow.

0 thoughts on “Feminists Need to Stop Being So Mean And Have Sex with This Guy

  1. Emily

    As is pretty much par for the course with this blog, I think you’ve once again ignored what this (admittedly inarticulate) writer is trying to in order to say something nasty about an anonymous man. I believe he was asking why women tend to favor frat-boys over self-described sensitive types. The “cock cave” he’s referring to isn’t his, it’s the frat boys, and his question is one that I frequently ask myself. And while he certainly seems to have an expectation of reward, or at the very least sympathy, for taking women’s studies classes (god knows I do), I would like to have it explained to me where the hell he asks me to spread my legs. Speaking as a feminist, I would really, really, really love it if what I honestly feels are valid, if garbled spur-of-the-moment comments aren’t waved around by the sisterhood as “OMG, my needs and desires, they are marginalized.” In short, I think you’re being nasty and hypersensitive, and your blog frequently embarrasses me as a woman, a feminist, and a Planned Parenthood employee.

    Reply
  2. Outcrazyophelia

    I wonder if he thinks his general disdain for women and his obvious lack of interest in any sort of equality are so well hidden that the fact that women don’t throw themselves at him is proof that feminists are frigid.

    Such a lovely man, and clearly so enlightened.

    Reply
  3. Lindsay

    Thank you for posting this, it really brought a smile to my face. Your commentary was perfect. I can’t believe some people. And I, for one, have been thoroughly enlightened and know that from now on will be sure to visit the cock-caves of not only Quarterback Jack but every schmuck who wishes to insert his penis into “chics” he has never met.

    Reply
  4. Cara Post author

    Speaking as a feminist, I would really, really, really love it if what I honestly feels are valid, if garbled spur-of-the-moment comments aren’t waved around by the sisterhood as “OMG, my needs and desires, they are marginalized.” In short, I think you’re being nasty and hypersensitive, and your blog frequently embarrasses me as a woman, a feminist, and a Planned Parenthood employee.

    As a feminist, I’d really love if people actually thought comments through before leaving their garbled, spur-of-the-moment messes all over the internet, because my eyes get really tired from all that rolling. Further, I don’t deny that I’m being snarky as hell in this post; that was the point. And if the comment really upset me enough to be “hypersensitive” about it, I’d be telling the asshole off rather than mocking him.

    As for your embarrassment, I’d feel really bad about that if I actually believed that you are who you say you are. Actually, I wouldn’t; I love Planned Parenthood and their employees to pieces, and feminist are great, but I sure as hell don’t need every last one of their seals of approval.

    Also, if you’re so embarrassed, you’re free to just not read.

    Reply
  5. Outcrazyophelia

    I didn’t realize that vagina was an appropriate prize for going to women’s studies classes. Also I was unaware that women in general prefer x or y type of man. I know I’ve never visited the cock cave of any jock. Perhaps this guy doesn’t notice that the jocks may have better self confidence which makes it easier to attract partners–but no clearly it must be that social consciousness makes women avoid you. Or maybe the message is that feminists aren’t easy enough to make attending the classes worth while. If you want to talk about embarrassing comments, I would think that sympathizing with someone who wants sex in exchange for pretending to value equality and viewing women as a hivemind as equally embarrassing things to say in a blog like this.

    Reply
  6. Emily

    Thank you for your time and attention to my comment. Please note the email address. I don’t as a general rule use my work address for blogs, but I greatly resent being called a liar.

    Reply
  7. Cara Post author

    You’re right Emily; you’re using an email address with a Planned Parenthood affiliate domain. Not usually the format I see for those email address, but hey that changes and for all I know some affiliates may use first name only. So if I’m wrong and you do actually work for Planned Parenthood, I apologize for the assumption. But your comment still carries no additional weight for me other than thinking if you work for PP, there must be something alright about you.

    Reply
  8. Emily

    Nor would I intend it to. I could have phrased my comment more gracefully, but I do find your attack on this man offensive. However, I can hardly fault you for misanthropy when you directed the same sort of “snark” towards me for saying mean things about your blog. Just further prove that there might be something alright with me, I’ll stay out of your sandbox from now on.

    Reply
  9. JenniferRuth

    I guess the reason feminists aren’t fucking him is because they are all busy fucking the men that actually do respect women and treat them as human beings. Funny that.

    Reply
  10. Emily

    “I can hardly fault you for misanthropy.” You might be more effective as a commentator if you actually read what people said, instead of looking for buzz words and reacting. Damn, made myself into a liar by coming back for more. Oh wait, I was already a liar for disagreeing with you. Lord knows that all feminists, women, and PP employees just fall right into line.

    Reply
  11. Cara Post author

    So you’re right Emily, I thought it said “I can hardly fault you for your misanthropy.” And I “called you a liar” because if I had a dime for every time someone came to this blog to troll while telling me all of the reasons why they’re not a troll and how they totally have the credentials to tell me what an embarrassment I am to feminism without knowing the first thing about it, I’d make a living off blogging. Sorry I’m such a big meanie-pants for not instantaneously believing everything that everyone on the internet tells me without providing any evidence. Lord knows that everyone on the internet tells the truth, particularly when leaving bloggers insulting comments. I’m finished responding to you, goodbye.

    Reply
  12. Sudy

    u-n-b-e-l-i-e-v-a-b-l-e

    I first was referencing the article, then I read through the comments from Emily.

    Not sure which is more disturbing.

    Reply
  13. hlynn

    I’ve taken a trip to the cock-cave; it’s going to be featured in ‘Cockman Begins’. I’ve known guys like this; they take women’s study courses and pay lip service to progressive/liberal/feminist ideas, but they miss the real point.

    Reply
  14. earlgreyrooibos

    I think anyone who has gone to a liberal arts college knows guys like this . . . . It was a very sad day for me when I discovered that so-called “enlightened” guys still had very entitled attitudes to sex.

    Reply
  15. zooeyibz

    “Emily”: proof that trolls really are dull, clumsy creatures.

    As for the original subject, I suspect, given his tenuous grasp of the English language, he’s not getting laid simply because he’s a bit of a doofus.

    Reply
  16. akeeyu

    Okay, I’m going to point this out for Emily, who apparently missed a memo somewhere.

    “I would like to see a survey of how much sex frat boy jocks receive versus schmucks such as myself”
    Hint: Guys who look at sex as something they receive, like manna from the Flying Spaghetti Monster, instead of a sweaty act of whatever between two people? These are not good people.

    “wasted our time going to feminist philosophy classes and trying to be respectful and understanding”
    Hint: People who have to TRY to be respectful of women or people with differing opinions? See, also not good people.

    I’ve seen Internet Feminists go off on some pretty weird tangents sometimes, but this is really not one of those times. This is a clear case of a guy being a misogynist douchebag, and you not seeing what the big deal is. Eh?

    Your comments are depressing me as a feminist.

    Reply
  17. SunlessNick

    Guys who look at sex as something they receive, like manna from the Flying Spaghetti Monster, instead of a sweaty act of whatever between two people?

    And have already failed the “trying to be respectful and understanding” part.

    Reply
  18. Jesse

    poor Eat Politicians misses the point on many different levels. The first, while not the most glaring, is why is he in competition for sex?

    That doesn’t solve the problem that he’s being an entitled douche. And, you know, I forgot to open my legs for him so being such a great trying-to-be-sensitive guy.

    Reply
  19. Ruana

    So feminist philosophy classes are a waste of time if they don’t get you laid? Gosh, I wish I could get my last year of university back.

    Reply
  20. Laurel

    He said the right words, he put in his quarter, he pushed the button, and yet the fuck vending machines who dare to think of themselves as autonomous humans don’t dispense sex.

    Now he’s going to become an asshole so he can get laid, and it’s all our fault, and we’ll be sorry when we don’t have his respect and understanding anymore.

    Puh fucking lease, Dude. The Nice Guy ™ mem is so played out.

    Reply
  21. Thealogian

    Emily, you seem to think that Cara’s post is primarily serving to indict this young, clueless man and that kind of “nasty and hypersensitive” rhetoric is embarrassing you as a feminist. I think that you have read the text without a sense of context–what this young man represents is the faux ally, which is a constant roadblock in relations between Feminists and Feminist or Feminist-friendly men. The “Nice Guy” who laments that his allied involvement in various Women’s causes or Gender Studies curriculum is not properly rewarded with pussy is VERY OFTEN FOUND IN THE INTERWEBS AND QUITE FRANKLY, IN PRIVATE CONVERSATIONS. This is a real issue and it is particularly disturbing to Feminist who are actively seeking male allies. This one, individual man represents a rather troubling phenomenon in the Feminist Movement.

    Seriously, have you NEVER met a guy in your life who attends one class, one fundraiser, one rally, etc. expecting to get laid? I have many times! Just the other night, a friend I have suspected of “Nice Guyism” was crying on the phone with me regarding his ex-girlfriend who dumped him for “Mr. Military” (a returning Iraq War vet who was her boyfriend before he deployed; personally, I think that my friend was just a fuck-buddy who didn’t really understand where he stood while she was waiting for BF to return). Regardless, he laid out his Feminist bona fides as the reason he deserved to have this woman (who he really described as exactly what he wanted, the climber-girl/buddy/girl-friend combo that his outdoorsy crew all fantasize about). It was never really about her, but the IDEA of her. He was crying, so I was nice, but he pissed me off the way he described the relationship and his sense of entitlement. He’s just the latest “Nice Guy” I’ve known to think this way, feel this way and IT IS A REAL PROBLEM for both the Movement and for personal relationships.

    So, re-read the Cara’s text (remove yourself a while from the comments and where this thread has gone) then think about not just this individual guy, but the real issue–working toward an allied vision of justice work; intersectionalism and common ground.

    Peace

    Reply
  22. Lemur

    Also, can I just say? The “Batman” references, while he’s complaining about not getting laid cause he’s a Nice GuyTM? That alone would pretty much guarantee the guy never sees the inside of any girl’s undies.
    It’s so cute when they’re not only entitled and incoherent but think witty verbiage involves outdated comic book allusions.
    (My apologies to all the cool comic geeks out there- this guy gives you a bad name.)

    Reply
  23. Ellie

    Well, I for one thought that studying feminism was about social justice and that, but now I realize I should have been getting laid.

    Not too late to start, I suppose. Any takers?

    Reply
  24. Eurosabra

    Ah, entitlement. How many of you have managed to approach your romantic lives without having an agenda, which takes a degree of Zen most people find difficult to master? And it’s terribly hard to avoid the hive-mind effect when all you hear is “No.” Especially when everyone is young and quite possibly superficial and making snap decisions on appearances. The pathologies are not his alone.

    Reply
  25. Cara Post author

    The pathologies are not his alone.

    If I thought he was the only douchebag who thought this way, I wouldn’t have bothered posting it. As others in the comments have noted, this is an all-too-common phenomenon that we’re quite familiar with. This guy’s particular way of expressing his Nice Guy ™ -ness just happened to be amusing.

    Reply
  26. Eurosabra

    I’m saying he’s being judged by women who are also equally blinkered in their own way, and when you’re a young man, the least amount of awkwardness or social dysfunction will consign you to the ranks of the unf*ckable pretty quickly. What he’s seeing is actually a good feminist point through a twisted filter: in a patriarchy, men who can act out stereotypical masculinity (“Quarterback Jack”) will attract the average, femininity-performing woman on a college campus quite easily. Add in the “being different to be the same” faux-diversity of cliques, and you can see women as a hive-mind of “Wants to f*ck @$$holes and not you” quite easily. College students are aggregates of cliques: “We are all individuals.”

    Holly at The Pervocracy actually engaged with the “vending machine” model of sexual choice–“But I WANNA! I WANNA! This THING is broken, it won’t give me what I want!”–from the perspective of a woman who was turned down, which is somewhat unusual. But then again, she wasn’t being turned down by EVERYONE, in a performative system where she had to initiate. I deal with A LOT of disability issues, and the crux is still performative masculinity biting men in the @$$ in the form of being “the brave, inspiring guy in the wheelchair.” (Women have their own issues but I’m not qualified to speak to them.)

    But he’s hilarious, and I wonder why no one thought to burst his bubble with a remark like “So basically what you’re saying is any woman who chooses you would be delusional.”

    Reply
  27. Lemur

    I still think it’s this three-year-old mentality that never really goes away for some folks. “All the other boys get to play with a vagina! Why can’t I?! I want it! Gimme!”
    …And yet, still not okay. I don’t care what reasons he has. He still sounds arrogant and creepy and bitter, and most females hearing his viewpoints would make a note never to be alone with him.
    I don’t care what your issues are. Nobody just “deserves” sex because they say so. Spank your inner moppet and move the hell on.

    Reply
  28. ryan

    this guy cannot blame the women studies classes for his own short comings.

    he is simply envious of the jocks who are getting laid. and this has nothing to do with feminist lessons.

    if the girls love the jocks and are having sex with them then its their wish their lives. what has attending women studies classes got to do with you sexual appeal? will that make you more sexually or psychically attractive or popular?

    if you wanna be like jocks then try to be one if you can and stop whining.

    Reply
  29. sarah

    my point is that what the jocks are doing is also wrong and is definitely not in line with feminist principles. such callous behavior of men should be discouraged.

    Reply
  30. hututu

    SARAH : “my point is that what the jocks are doing is also wrong and is definitely not in line with feminist principles. such callous behavior of men should be discouraged.”

    the jocks are not forcing anyone. if they are having fun with all those girls then the girls are willing. the way you say it takes the responsibility away from the girls as if they are not making a decision. your statement causes more harm to womens image than good.

    Reply

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