John Lennon in the News

Newsflash: The Vatican has pardoned John Lennon for saying that the Beatles were more popular than Jesus.

Yeah, apparently they were still upset about that.

I bet that wherever John is, he’s very pleased. After all, he was very sorry about his comments. Just look at how sorry he was:

He apparently also said later:

“I was not saying whatever they’re saying I was saying. I’m sorry I said it really. I never meant it to be a lousy anti-religious thing. I apologise if that will make you happy. I still do not know quite what I’ve done. I’ve tried to tell you what I did do, but if you want me to apologise, if that will make you happy, then OK, I’m sorry.”

Yeah, thrilled with that forgiveness, I bet he is.

As my husband said to me upon hearing the news . . . damn, is the Vatican going to be fucking pissed once they catch up to 1970 and hear “God.”

In other news, John Lennon was named the 5th greatest singer of all time by Rolling Stone magazineNot bad at all. I’m still bitter about them screwing George Harrison at #21 on their list of all-time greatest guitarists.

Also, did you hear that John Lennon’s murder was the result of a deal he made with the devil? It’s true. There’s a book about it and everything, and all kinds of clues are hidden in Beatles songs!  It’s like Robert Johnson and Paul is Dead combined and on crack.  And completely ripped off.  I’m a big personal fan of Clue 2. It’ll blow your mind, man.  Thanks to Dewey for sending me the press release and providing me with endless amusement.  (And also, if any of you actually spend money on that piece of shit, I am so disowning you.  But please enjoy the website.  I did!)

0 thoughts on “John Lennon in the News

  1. Liz

    Deal with the devil? Oh for the love of all that is marshmallowy! (Don’t you kinda have to believe in the devil to make a deal with him, for one thing?)


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